Colau is caught painting a blue area in a field of Hospitalet

This past Thursday a news team from Tabarnia Radio that was investigating the mysterious expansion of the Barcelona blue zone has followed the blue line to see where it ended and has ended up crossing the municipality of l'Hospitalet del Llobregat and shortly after locating a lady who was reviewing the line with a paint can at the foot of a newly installed parking meter. The woman tried to hide behind the parking meter, but seeing that it was not possible, she went directly to the TR reporters. "I thought this was still Barcelona!" The mayor justified herself to our colleagues.

The truth is that the fixation of the mayor of Barcelona with the parking meters dates from his own inauguration, because already then his first measure in office was to eliminate the holiday break in June and July during which the people of Barcelona didn't have to pay parking meters. Currently the regulations are already being expanded to allow the blue zone in innovative places, such as the slopes of Montjuich "the cars can hold it" defends the mayor "if a car is parked at an angle of less than 30º it will almost certainly not overturn".

NASA scientists develop revolutionary anti-COVID salute for WHO by raising a hand

 After several attempts by the World Health Organization (WHO) by consensual greeting that allows maintaining a safe distance, the world health entity has requested the collaboration of scientists from around the world. It's known that the popular handshake had to be replaced by the now common bump of the elbows, but apparently this also violates the safety distance and the WHO considers that it's not advisable either. It has come to be considered adopting the typical Japanese inclination, but it has the problem that when you see the ground from so close you can see more the filth, leaving aside that many people drop their mobile from their jacket pocket and that the necklines worn by some young women are not intended for this position. A last proposal has been to take the hand to the heart as Julio Iglesias and thus greet from the heart, however some political representatives consider that they already do enough to greet their adversaries out of commitment and that in no way are they going to greet them "from the heart".

Once again it has had to be NASA scientists who develop an innovative way of greeting that is 100% anti-COVID. The new greeting would consist of raising one of the hands, which would have many advantages because that way there is no contact. The gesture could be improved by moving the hand slightly to the right and left, and in case of no response from the interlocutor it could be accompanied by the greeting "hi". Project manager Brian Gel says it wouldn't be difficult for people to get used to this innovative way of greeting, mostly "because they've been doing it their whole bloody life".

An special informative of TV3 documented all the infections of the Diada

 After the false cancellation of the protesting events of nationalism on the Day of September 11 (Torra said that nothing would be done, but winking his left eye), all the TV3 media took to the streets to cover the acts in which the nationalists proposed to spread "the virus of freedom" throughout Catalonia. Thus the cameras captured how a hundred guests sat down to listen to Elisenda Paluzie's sermon (excuse me, speech) with their chairs separated and then they all went to a tavern to celebrate how well they had maintained their safe distance. Later in the day, several hooded men burned a giant photo of two little girls (Leonor and Sofía) accompanied by their mother and father. The happy protesters proudly passed away the lighters, gasoline, the remains of the photo and COVID-19. At night, some CDRs set fire to various containers in the Gracia neighborhood while residents tried to extinguish the flames with jets of water launched with hoses from their terraces. The CDRs greeted them with the middle finger, as they were excited, hugging each other and soaked by the hoses, something that contradicts the statements of the CDR choreographer, who has told this medium that he's not afraid that the attendees can become ill, since "given how few we were, we could only place one person every four meters, more or less as in the previous three years".

A reggaeton player denounces another because "their rhythmic base is very well the same"

The well-known reggaeton singer Mal Bunny has denounced his partner Daddi Senteria this Monday for allegedly plagiarizing the rhythmic basis of his song "Come p'acá mi ñiña I'm going to make you less afraid with the tum-que-tum-pao-pao".

According to the artist, the rhythmic base of the new song by Daddi Sentería "Ven p'acá mi chorba que el tanguita no m'estorba - with the Kan-the-Kan-the-flow" is something like "TUM - PA-TUM - PA - TUM - PA-TUM - PA - TUM - PA-TUM - PA - TUM ", While Mal Buny's original theme is something like" TUM - PA-TUM - PA - CHIN - PA-CHIN - PA - TUM - PA-TUM - PA - TUM ".

The artist has received the support of his companions Paluma, Adina, Yastá and Francisquín, whom he has also denounced because all their rhythmic bases are as similar to his as hunger is to the desire to eat.

BBVSANBANCAIXA is born, the merger of BBVA + Santader + Bankia + La Caixa

 After the imminent merger of the BanCaixa and Bankia entities that could give rise to the largest bank in Spain, CaixaBankia, rumors have begun to spread that point to a new merger between two large financial entities such as Banco de Santander and BBVA, which would give birth to the new entity BBVASAN. In the case of BBVA, it would not be the first merger, since this entity in turn comes from the union of BBV with Argentaria, and we must not forget that BBV was in turn the merger of Banco de Bilbao with Banco de Vizcaya. Therefore, if the long-awaited merger between BBVASAN and CaixaBankia occurs, we could be facing the largest banking entity in Europe, named BBVSANBANCAIXA, or for short, Banco Bilbao Vizcaya Argentaria Santander Bankia La Caixa, which would have its headquarters in Albacete because there there is a lot of free space.

It's rumored that the board of the financial conglomerate JP Morgan (the world's largest bank) has already mobilized to merge with the resulting bank, which would become the largest bank in the solar system, and that to save the resulting alphabet soup it would pass to be called, simply, "The Bank". Obviously, the new entity would close all physical offices, operate only online and collect the interest that would come out of the IMF.

Six out of seven admissions are from coronavirus, and the seventh is already coughing

A message for deniers, protesters without a safe distance, the unconscious and lovers of the bottle. People are dying, stop bullshitting. In many hospitals, six out of seven admissions are due to coronavirus, and it costs doctors God and help that the seventh is not infected. Did you get it? Voucher. Do you think is a lie? You are in your perfect right to think that way, but you can believe it without having to put other people at risk. Now, if you don't believe it, you won't believe there is risk either. Okay, think if you want the rest of the world to be crazy. Give us crazy, abductees, but respect the distance and security measures, although according to you they are useless. Surely it won't hurt you either. That this topic has not made you so funny? Perfect. Me neither.